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CactusFlower37321
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Name: Mrs. Cowboy
Location: Chattanooga, Tennessee, United States
Gender: Female


Interests: Spending time with my loving husband! Reading an enthralling book (currently it's Perelandra by C.S. Lewis) especially on a cool, sunny Saturday morning with a cup of hot Jasmine tea. Getting time to draw again, with watercolor this time. Being content in every situation and trusting my God, Jesus Christ, to guide me and shine through me to others in my life!


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Member Since: 4/11/2005

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Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Time for a Change

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, because I've completely given up trying to change this page to what I want (I can explain to you later but right now it would make me mad), I've started a new xanga page!!  I'm Momma_Cowboy now and I'm still searching for that baby feet theme that I've wanted!!  Maybe I can just create one.

Anyway, I thought I'd tell everyone!  I'll shut this site down in a few weeks to give people time to switch over (if they want), and I'll warn you first.  Anyone have any more ideas for themes for a pregnant lady?

See you around,

Mrs. (Momma) Cowboy


Monday, May 04, 2009

Time is just creeping by...

I'm 8 weeks and 5 days pregnant and I keep daydreaming of the days when it will be obvious to the world that I'm with child!!  It will fly by, I know, everyone keeps telling me, but right now to me it's not really flying.  It is surprising though that it's already been a month since I learned I'm pregnant.  Cowboy and I decided to wait until May 1st to tell the world our good news, and that actually finally got here.  So I have hope that someday you'll be able to look at me and know I'm pregnant!!

I'm trying not to let it all occupy my mind while I'm at work, but it's hard and I'm easily distracted by it.  We've wanted this for so long now and it's finally here!!  Morning sickness is minimal which is a blessing.  If I do feel sick, it's not too bad and I don't actually GET sick.  Usually I can eat a few crackers to settle my stomach and it subsides slowly.  Need a ridiculous amount of sleep though.  I got 10 hours last night and that's about perfect I think, although my husband Cowboy_Christian thinks I'll still need a nap later.  We'll see!!!

So names so far that we like - what do you think?

Joseph Steven Christian

Kathleen Rose Christian

Wyatt (Something) Christian

(Something) Carmella Christian 

Isabella (Something) Christian

 

Do you have any suggestions for the "somethings"? 

 

Love,

Mrs. Cowboy


Wednesday, October 22, 2008

It's high time that girl posted...

 

I know at least my husband (Cowboy_Christian) is probably tired of me having a Xanga and not posting, so if just he is happy then that makes it worth it.

It's hard to share my thoughts with the internet.  I know everyone who reads my stuff are real people, but I just prefer a pen and paper and I'm not sure if I'll ever get with the current culture in that.  I think sometimes people share too much on websites without realizing just how many people are reading it.  It's become the safe sounding board or the confession room where you tell all your secrets and think there's no consequences.  Wow how did I get off on that?  Maybe we should ask Al Gore about the internet since he invented it and all. (Kidding.  Settle down.)

I feel like I'm waiting right now.  That's probably not how it should be, but that's where I'm at right now.  Waiting for Cowboy to finish school, waiting for the workday to be over, waiting for the weekend, waiting to start a family, waiting to move my home, waiting to be rescued.

I say that's not how it should be because if we only look to the next thing to finally give us that "way it should be" feeling, then we'll never arrive.  There will always be something else to strain for, something else to look at and say, "If only I had/was/did THAT, I would be content."  I'm learning that I have this deep desire in me for everything to be perfect, but I'm learning that perfection is only an illusion. 

What is that one thing you always have in the back of your mind saying if you only could do this or get this, you would finally be happy and stop wanting anything else?  Why is that a lie?

 

 

Currently Listening
Spirit
By Jewel
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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How Sweet and Awesome Is the Place

Isaac Watts, 1707; Old Irish hymn melody

 

How sweet and awesome is the place

With Christ within the doors,

While everlasting love displays,

The choicest of her stores.

 

While all our hearts and all our songs

Join to admire the feast,

Each of us cries, with thankful tongue,

“Lord, why was I a guest?

 

“Why was I made to hear your voice

And enter while there’s room,

When thousands make a wretched choice,

And rather starve than come?”

‘Twas the same love that spread the feast

That sweetly drew us in;

Else we had still refused to taste,

And perished in our sin.

 

Pity the nations, O our God,

Constrain the earth to come;

Send your victorious Word abroad,

And bring the strangers home.

 

We long to see your churches full,

That all the chosen race

May, with one voice and heart and soul,

Sing your redeeming grace.

 

 

I'm beginning to understand something that I've always tried to grasp.  Some of you may know the whole "debate" about whether someone chooses Christ or whether Christ chooses him?  There are so many people at one extreme or the other, including myself at one point.  I grew up knowing that I choose Christ.  I have the power to reject Him, and it is through my Sinner's Prayer that I accept Him.  And then He kind of takes over from there, but it's still up to me to get rid of the sin in my life and not to backslide, etc.

 

Then when I went to college, I was introduced to the God of predestination, who seemed a lot bigger because He has the power to decide who should be saved and who should not be saved.  To turn people's hearts for or against.  Seemed cruel for Him to NOT choose someone, but if I truly trusted God, then I knew that HE knew best and just like a parent of a naive child, He knows all the facts to make the best decision and I can't possibly.

 

Well, since then, actually since Saturday morning, I'm beginning to put the two together.  I'm still working this out in my heart and head, so please bear with me.  I never understood how some of my friends could do this, and I wanted to understand, so I pretended.  Here's the basics of what I believe the Holy Spirit revealed to me through the book of Jeremiah and journaling: God chooses to bring back some of us from the dead, spiritually, and then once we are confronted by His goodness in the face our death-smelling sinfulness, we cannot do anything but choose Him.

 

I was confronted by His goodness on Saturday morning.  It finally clicked for me and I'm still struggling to put words to it.  It's His kindness and love for us, and Him pursuing us as a Lover would that wins us over.  At least I know this is PART of His nature.  There's many other facets to Him, and I have eternity to explore Him! 

 

Consider these passages from Jeremiah 32:

 

1 While Jeremiah was still confined in the courtyard of the guard, the word of the LORD came to him a second time: 2 "This is what the LORD says, he who made the earth, the LORD who formed it and established it—the LORD is his name: 3 'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.' 4 For this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says about the houses in this city and the royal palaces of Judah that have been torn down to be used against the siege ramps and the sword 5 in the fight with the Babylonians [a] : 'They will be filled with the dead bodies of the men I will slay in my anger and wrath. I will hide my face from this city because of all its wickedness.

 6 " 'Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security. 7 I will bring Judah and Israel back from captivity [b] and will rebuild them as they were before. 8 I will cleanse them from all the sin they have committed against me and will forgive all their sins of rebellion against me. 9 Then this city will bring me renown, joy, praise and honor before all nations on earth that hear of all the good things I do for it; and they will be in awe and will tremble at the abundant prosperity and peace I provide for it.'

 10 "This is what the LORD says: 'You say about this place, "It is a desolate waste, without men or animals." Yet in the towns of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem that are deserted, inhabited by neither men nor animals, there will be heard once more 11 the sounds of joy and gladness, the voices of bride and bridegroom, and the voices of those who bring thank offerings to the house of the LORD, saying,
       "Give thanks to the LORD Almighty,
       for the LORD is good;
       his love endures forever."
      For I will restore the fortunes of the land as they were before,' says the LORD.

 

I hope this wasn't too much for you to read at one time, but it's really hard to understand what I saw without the context.  Have a great day worshipping the Lord!!

 


Thursday, July 17, 2008

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am uncurably meloncholy today.  I'm forlorn and also clingish.  I could cry or laugh and no one could probably tell the difference between the two.  I know I have posted in a while, and actually I'm usually happy-go-lucky every day or just too busy to think about myself, but today is different.  LOL, I'm having ear problems too and that may very well be related, but no matter the reason, this is me!  Below is something I'm clinging to and an expression of how I am today...

 

 

If everything is lost, thanks be to God
If I must see it go, watch it go,
Watch it fade away, die
Thanks be to God that He is all I have
And if I have Him not, I having nothing at all
Nothing at all, only a farewell to the wind
Farewell to the grey sky
Goodbye, God be with you evening October sky.
If all is lost, thanks be to God
For He is He, and I, I am only I.

~ Excerpt from "A Severe Mercy" by Sheldon Vanauken. Poem written by Julian.

 

Currently Listening
Spirit
By Jewel
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